“The Rizzler”

By Journalist Alexandria Willard (OSU)

Saturday afternoon, as the body returned from lunch, Senator A. Gardner (OBU) proposed Bill No. OBU-003. The legislative proposal, the “The Rizzler” Act of 2023, ventures into unconventional territory. 

Before the hearing of the bill, a motion was made to refer to Floor Leader Gardner as “The Rizzler.” “Going in there, I had no idea that they were going to see something in me that I had never seen in myself, which is rizz at that level. I believe one person called me the supreme chancellor of rizz.”

Gardner explained this bill to be “creating a public office for the purposes of commerce and tourism for the state of Oklahoma, to have a “Rizzler”…representing Oklahoma in all things rizz.” Following a common trend on social media, specifically the platform “TikTok”, the bill aims to establish a distinctive public office called “The Rizzler,” designed to enhance state commerce and tourism. The proposed Rizzler must embody the characteristics of a “sigma,” meet residency requirements, and engage in specific activities such as “mewing” and “looksmaxxing.” Duties include operating a state-owned Twitch channel and receiving a “fanum tax” from citizens. 

During time for questions, “The Rizzler”, was requested to sing the song famously known on TikTok, and during his singing, the body erupted in laughter.

The legislation also outlines an annual event, “The Rizz Bowl,” serving as a platform for the Rizzler’s title defense. 

The bill defines qualifications for a public office in an unconventional manner, focusing on physical characteristics and internet-based activities rather than traditional qualifications. This approach may raise questions about the suitability and professionalism of the officeholder.

As part of the legislative process, several amendments were proposed, each aiming to modify, enhance, or add specific elements to the original bill.The amendments suggest unique nuances, including song selections and penalties for non-compliance, adding an eccentric layer to the proposed law.

Amidst the legislative process for the “The Rizzler” Act of 2023, several amendments successfully became integral parts of the proposed bill.

Robison’s amendment solidified the “Floor Leader Rizzler” as the “Supreme and Eternal Rizzler in perpetuity,” ensuring long-term stability within the Rizzler’s office.

Atchison’s successful addition of “Ballin'” by Mustard ft. Roddy Rich as the office anthem aimed to create a distinct identity and cultural recognition for Rizzler events.

White’s amendment introduced unconventional attire requirements for non-attendees of the Rizz Bowl, adding a unique and symbolic aspect to penalties for non-participation.

These passed amendments diversified the legislation, providing stability, cultural identity, and symbolic elements to the Rizzler’s office, showcasing the legislative body’s varied perspectives and creative input.

“It is legal that it goes to the House because we did meet quorum when we passed it, however since we will not be hearing the House’s joke bill, it is unlikely that they will be hearing ours.” “While it is a joke bill, besides one of the amendments declaring me personally, The Rizzler, for the rest of my life, I would 100% be in favor of it actually going into law…I think it is a wonderful way to capitalize on this current trend and a way that would bring a lot of notoriety to our state.”