Sterling Zoe Rubottom
In between debating bills on abortion, statutory rape laws, felon voting rights and conversion therapy, the Honorable Senate faces pressing issues on the fourth day of session—even off of the floor.
If you take a peek into the Senate entryway, you’ll stumble upon a white folding table of all the best senator sustenance: soda cans, Cheez-Its and chips, bananas, bottled waters, clementine’s . . . and a chocolate cake that reads “Everyone BUT OU. Power to the workers!!!”
While the Sunshine Committee has been in charge of providing snacks for the Honorable Senate, the University of Oklahoma has conveniently provided food for their own delegation members throughout session.
Becoming internally frustrated, two Senate members from other delegations—who wish to remain unnamed by caution of future public office campaigns—tested the waters by buying a cake this afternoon specifically not for OU members. To be clear.
As icing on the cake, a hammer and sickle is portrayed on its face as a symbol for the communist party. The idea, the senators explained, was that the cake would be for the proletariat but “no cake for the OU bourgeoisie.”
“But doesn’t that go against the communist ideology?” a colleague asked.
“I never said we were perfect.”
While they discussed having someone on ‘cake watch duty’, the instigators explained that they will “not slap the cake out of anyone’s hands” even if members are indeed from OU.
They then held a ceremony before the slicing, saluting and playing the Soviet Union state anthem.
Now they can have their cake and eat some too.